Stranger Playdate

Saturday night I followed through with an invitation to meet some strangers. Keep reading and it won’t sound too bizarre. It’s a funny thing as an au pair: suddenly you’re uprooted and thrown onto new soil. You have to refill your time (it can be quite refreshing actually) and rebuild a social life. Every au pair realizes sooner or later that establishing friendships is a vital part to survival in Paris.

Thanks to my Europair agency, there is an email list with all the nearby au pairs in Paris.  A girl by the name of Anna Grzes emailed me just before I arrived here in the hopes of reaching out. This was the source of our eventual meeting.

I called her on the phone that morning and in Polish-accented English she told me that we could meet at 8pm for the cinema—then abruptly ended the conversation.

I planned my whole day around this event, not knowing what to expect and slightly nervous. Was Anna young like most au pairs ? (18-21 is the average age.) Was she posh like many of the city people here? Perhaps too posh for a yet-unstyled country girl like me? I dressed with the same attention as I would for a first date. First impressions are lasting impressions.

Anna gave me assignment to meet her outside the Luxemburg metro station. As I waited, I realized I hadn’t any clue what, or who, to look for. It’s quite awkward smiling at every stranger who exits the metro. Waiting for a bit, I noticed two young women who seemed to be waiting also. After some hesitation I approached them and asked if they spoke English? Yes, they did. But, no, they weren’t Anna. Haha, oops. Time passed and no Anna. As a last resort I phoned her (I gathered she didn’t have any minutes) and we discovered she had passed by me without knowing it. Finally she found me. A pleasant girl with wispy-wavy light brown hair, light skin and pale blue eyes. She had a merry look about her, though I learned by the end of the night that she is somewhat of a serious character, and quiet too (though not too posh either).

We talked as we hurried to meet the others. I wondered if I spilled too much about myself too fast; it’s too nice to have someone to talk to. Despite passing about 5 Cinemas (and having to ward off some annoying French guy who was into Anna), we couldn’t get a hold of, or find, the other girls. We were late to see our film (Taken 2 [hahahahahaha!]). After deciding to see it just the two of us, we ran into the other girls in line. The ticketers informed us that if we bought tickets, we would not be able to sit together—so we decided to sit down at a restaurant instead. Hurray! Here was my opportunity to socialize, finally!

The girls: Kayleigh (20)—from England, Anna (24)—from Sweden, Clara (21)—from Norway, Danielle (21)—from Australia, and of course my latest friend Anna (25)—from Poland. A great variety of ages, I was glad to learn, and most of them came here with contracts through an au pair site, not my agency.  They had also all been here for about 2 months. We talked about our situations and experiences.

Some had nightmare stories to tell. One of the girls had to pack the entire family’s belongings from their 5-story house, and unpack it into their new apartment completely by herself—the mother now asks her where everything is (???) The family she is with is extremely wealthy. They send their kids to a grueling school that gives hours of homework for the children—to the extent where the mom is coming home at 10pm and waking them to finish their homework. When the au pair first arrived, she was working from 7am until sometimes 2am in the morning, because she was required to babysit until the parents came home at any uncertain hour. Sometimes the mother is physically abusive to the kids. Another au pair has constant hours, and no time off. Another has troublesome children. Another is in a bedroom next to the parents’…

Overall, I learned that I really have quite a charmed life. My family doesn’t require many hours or much work from me. I am compensated reasonably. My children are manageable. My room is (after I saw Anna’s) large. I’m located next to one of the biggest and best gardens in Paris and I have a lot of independence. My au pair mother is nice, very civil, and does not abuse the children, or expect me to do ridiculous tasks. Even the fact that she is going through a divorce and is separated from her husband has been somewhat of an advantage because I don’t have to deal with (so far) a quarrelling couple. The best thing is that I like them. I like Madame. I like Liza (the housekeeper). I love Léon (and he loves me) and I like Bérenice and Jeanne also.  (The boyfriend, Laurant, well…) I even speak functional French; none of the girls I have met so far know more than a lick of it.

I don’t think that my “bonne chance” is merely by chance. Before I chose my au pair family, I prayed for help. I prayed that I would make the right decision—that I would choose the best situation for myself, and that I might find a good family. And I have. I think personality-wise, we are a fantastic match.

 I’ve been too lucky to actually be lucky—the Lord is looking out for me.

I apologize that there are no photos to this entry: I didn’t want to annoy my new crowd of friends. I will try not to disappoint next time. Thanks for reading!